Transcendance - 25 ::: Being "high"...

Prelude :: Though I have made lot of wierd postings until now, this could be the wierdest one unti now....Watch out...g
Dear Gowri
Being a practioner of pranayam yourself, I am sure you will understand the first para of this posting without much explanation. If you give a break to the breathing practise for some time and re-start after a while, the first few days will be basically for a warm up....and you get into your full rhythm only after a while. isn't it ? The same was very true with me too....and As I belong to 1997 batch, you can appreciate I had more number of slips and discontinuances than you.....and every other Isha meditator. I am not sure about how you take such gaps....and if you resolve feverishly that you will never skip practises again (do you ?), I have done it a thousand times....when ever I slid down when I am in a "snake".....only to recover gradually to my optimum energy level using yoga as a tool or rather a "ladder".....!!
In a way, I had theorically understood Sadhguru when he says that one does not DO yoga but it is a support system to be in yoga....!! He means YOGA as a state of mind which I can theorically appreciate as I had seen the glimpses of it during my highs....Do not mind confessing that there had been some super natural experiences to me once a while...which makes me never lose touch with my practises completely (there were instances where I did not do the basic breathing practise for couple of months too !!).
Now, why this bragging .....and why I am making it consciously in past tense ? YES, it appears that I have reached some level internally.....and though I was bit erratic in practise (not a long off....but since Mahashivarathri which was a month back, I had done just 50 % of the days only....), I seem to be in a mood that I am afraid is not quite a normal one for me until now. I am bit too involved in office these days....and I am feverishly completing few things in the project team (we call ourselves as center management team...these days) before I move on to operations...consequent to the management decision to promote me...The late sitting and coming early (couple of days I reached office around 6 AM not because of any work pressure but because of work excitement...) did not matter to me much....and I skipped not just the practises but also my cooking routine.....for several days. In the past one month, I have cooked for max 50 % of the days...and leaving out the chennai stay days, did not mind gulp the food available at the canteen....!!
Now, the house was a big mess when I reached home exhausted on friday...and I looked around...where to start....(including few vessels in the kitchen sink for more than 3 days)....and decided to go and stay at Isha for entire saturday..... before I do my household chores. When I roamed about in the premises of Isha aimlessly...and sat under a tree to take up few decisive goals about the second quarter (I do this once a while...The first quarter, I was bit conservative not to take any goals as the primary goal was to settle down hasslefree at CBE ...the promotion was just a bonus !!), I was in a typical mood...that made me without a word within....and eyes bit moist without any big reason.
No pranayam for past three days...it did not matter....!! there were couple of known faces whom I know very well....it did not matter....!! the rock bench in which I was sitting cross legged writing my diary was not so comfortable...it did not simply matter....!! I eventually reached home only by 9 PM in the night....and started to work....fully charged....!!!
The real confirmation on my mood came only yesterday....by 7 PM. After working really like a dog.....cleaning up vessels, cooking and eating and cleaning up the vessels again (!!!), washing a huge volume of clothes in two instalments, cleaning up the home, purchasing provisions....cleaning up and arranging the kitchen....so much to do that the whole of yesterday I did not even sit for a minute (except when I ate the lunch....potato curry, kothamalli chutney, rasam....curd and naartha ilai podi) ....but it simply did not matter.
I went to Baba temple in the evening refreshing myself after an unforgettable good bath. While I stood in front of Baba, tears rolled from my eyes (which has happened many times when I am doing the practises regularly...and when my lungs are brimming with oxygen intak capacity) and it appeared to me like a flash that I have reached my "high" inspite of any external support like a Sadhuru Lecture OR my practises....
Yes, seems I arrive at the next gear.....!! Today morning, I got up at 3 AM so fresh though I slept only by 11.30 PM....prepared my lunch...and reached office as early as 6.45 AM.....!!
Wish to be here...at this level of intensity always.....!!
Suchoo