Moments of Bliss 15 ::: Re-assurance at the ability to laugh at myself

Prelude :: As the title of this posting gives a faint idea on the content, this could very well fit into Transcendance series too...But realising that I have had such experiences of laughing at myself in the past, I added the word "re-assurance" in the title & convinced myself that it is much more apt to include this experience in Moments of Bliss series...See, how sincere we can be even in trivial things, right ???
Dear Gowri
This is again about my new Public Speaking course...I clarified right on the day when I paid my fees if its ok to miss a class as I had a scheduled trip outside Madras for 1 full week - I was assured that there will be compensating class and it should not be a problem.
I was back from Munnar this friday morning and was slightly depressed with the thoughts about the pendancies at Office and the missed class hanging around my head....feeling like going to office on one of these days (sat or sunday) to clear off the mails at least so that I can get started with the new week lot more better.... I had a word with my colleague who clarified that there was no plan for any one to work on sat / sunday (it is crisis time for one of my teams and they worked in week ends for the past two weeks) as our Manager suggested them to take a break.... This spoilt my plans and yesterday morning, I was sitting helplessly in the hall of our home talking to Anoo in a bit depressed tone about the whole farce in our middle class lives.... I was asking her quite seriously if we can move to Isha right away putting our daughter in the wonderful home school they have within the Ashram premises...and she can become a teacher in the same home school.... I am any way longing to become a teacher at their yoga classes and all the silly details can always be worked out revolving around this....!! During this visit, Anoo too was overwhelmed with the life at Isha and that gave me some courage to get this crap going for close to 1 hour....and I was seriously trying to cajole her to leave her needless hesitation and reluctance to do things that we want to do !! As expected, she was brushing me off labelling me as impractical....(am I ?) and was giving reasons why it can' tbe done... ?? Encouraged by her responses, I was actually going into a healthy arguement for the solace that it gave me on a idle morning....with me having no interest to do any thing productive for the next 2 days...In fact, I was sensing that a new depression spell was in the offing !!
Just then a courier reached home by around 11 Am and handed over the intimation letter from the institute which told that there is a compensation class at 6 PM in the evening.....It started nicely as "Mr......, We missed you last sunday".....and gave a summary of what was covered in the previous session requesting me to join today at least to know more and get updated and online...
It was quite a pleasant surprise as I thought this intimation letter would have been sent to my office address (perhaps as an email) and I was wanting to skip this session as I was in no mood to get in touch with them myself to know the timings of the compensation class.....
This letter was sufficient to spring me into action (see how brittle I am !!) and I got reminded of the home work that I was supposed to do before going to the class. In fact, I was supposed to do a small talk for 2 and half minutes on a problem (any thing of my choice) , analysis of it and appeal to the audience on what we want them to do......We were told that we will have such practise session strewed all over the 8 - 10 weeks of the class and this was the maiden opportunity as it was announced on the first class which I attended....
I was also supposed to read few of the things in the study material and I got started locking myself in our computer room....and started wondering on the"problem" for the talking session... I stumbled upon the subject of environmental degradation about which I had good exposure during the "Green Hands" days...and talking about the solution of planting trees.....to solve it at a cheap and direct manner...! I had talked in around 10 schools during the project days and considering that time available was just 4 - 5 hours, I started jotting down the points in the required structure....
I went on rehearsing the sentences...literally trying to by-heart the whole of the talk, clocking the time that I take when I read the whole thing out, rephrasing and modifying few areas with question marks and exclamations...for audience appeal....I should say that I had a power packed speech in front of me....& got reminded that a speech well prepared is 90 % well delivered....
In fact, Let me also remind that I had kept improvising myself on this speech when I spoke in various schools....and was able to deliver the content very effectively both in English and Tamil...during the project days....and was quite confident that I will do a great impact in the evening session...There was no doubt it and I kept visualising myself doing a wonderful speech again and again until 4.30 PM....literally not doing any thing else at home...!!
The inevitable time came at the class, yesterday evening, when the MD's wife asked the 4 of us (the absentees) to make our speech coming in front of the team...I walked quite confidently as my peers did not come prepared for this talking session in this compensation class...!! (poor souls, how unthoughtful !!)
As I started with my opener statement, the energy level was quite low and I needed a correction right at that stage by the faculty...and I virtually stumbled 3 or 4 times during the delivery of the well prepared speech....and shamelessly looked at my notes to get the speech going...While the MD's wife sitting amongst the three other members, nodding her head vigourously to encourage me, I kept stumbling and searching for words.....which was extremely ackward in front of the three other members who were "lesser mortals" as per my standards based on the limited observation...
At the end of the talk, I had a heartly laugh and told the MD's wife that I really "goofed up" and "perhaps it is because of the fact that I over-prepared"...As a true professional, she had some comforting words for me and made me feel easy as I reached my chair.... I could see that the other three who did not come prepared was able to speak some thing coherently (inspite of poor language) about some social problem....in extempored manner...UNLIKE me and my preparation....and they did not carry their grammer too much while they expressed.... I heartily clapped my hands at the message they conveyed though the delivery was not made properly....with lot more modesty and honesty...
When I came out of the class, I felt myself really lighter with this failure...and was seriously analysing the reasons for the goof ups..... Think one important reason (in addition to the main reason that I get carried away too much with my imaginations about my self quite often), for my goof up is that I tried to memorize the sentences inspite of having the ability to deliver them extempored !! the natural flair was completely lost in this process of mugging up...and my confidence was taken away trying to do some thing (mugging up) which I forgot when I did last time....(perhaps during my school days ???)...Another reason for the debacle could be because, I lost touch with the subject matter which I was quite familiar with....2 years back.... The emotional value is completely lost inside me today on this subject matter and no wonder, I did not sound quite expressive on punctuations which I carefully added while writing script ?? Didn't they say that knowledge is the fundamental for good delivery...and communication skill is just supposed to build on the knowledge....I realise it lot more better now....!!
Hope I will do much better next time....>!!
I am giving below the famous 2 and half minute speech that I prepared yesterday.....which I goofed up ultimately....This needs to be in the webworld for ever......!!
Krishnaarpanam
suchoo
Our Duty towards Planet Earth

There was a study undertaken by United Nations Organization on Environmental degradation; This Study was undertaken 10 – 15 years back.
One of the observations made was that 60 % of the Land Area in India could become desertified in next 25 years. The word “desertification” means that so much land will become unfit for cultivation and will become barren & useless !! Particularly in Tamil nadu we have just 17 % Forest Cover which is quite alarming compared to national average of 23.5 %. Environmentalists say the ideal Forest Cover for a nation should be at least 33 %.

The main reasons for this poor forest cover in our state – as all of us know - is reckless deforestation & rapid urbanization.

Already we have started seeing the impact of this – isn’t it ?
Water scarcity, So much heat during summer & Too many threatening stories on “Global Warming” to name a few;
With an aim to increase our economic prosperity we have meddled too much with ecological balance & we have started paying price for the same.

We need to take remedial actions - on war footing - in various spheres but the cheapest and simplest one is to plant trees – which is some thing that we can start right away…. We cannot do much about the pollution & urbanization AND it may not be wise to slow down our Industrial Growth in any manner.

We are close to 6 crore people at Tamil Nadu, if all of us resolve to plant one tree sapling this year & another one during next year – and take care of them for 2 – 3 years, the Forest Cover of our state will improve from the current 17 % to 30 % in next 10 – 15 years.
Is this too difficult for us to do?

In terms of making an impact on demographic conditions of Planet Earth, an initiative taken in one state of a country may appear to be too inadequate;
But by doing this in all earnestness, we may motivate the rest of the states in India to replicate our initiative which may ultimately inspire the whole world !!

At this point of time , it is not only a responsibility but also is an opportunity & an unique previlege for us to do some thing about this.
Because, if we fail to do it now, perhaps the opportunity will be irretrievably lost !! Why don’t we leave a better world for our children & the future generations ?

I read a quote recently in a book ….it goes like this
"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is now !!"
Shall we get started ?? (a winning smile at the audience was planned !! Hmm.....I did just this part well....)

Transcendance - 12 ::: Learnings things better !!

Prelude ::: My earlier posting in this series (A decade long wedlock) is incomplete...that is, I am supposed to continue it with a much longer one on the 10 years of married life..as the prelude became bit too much in the earlier posting.....!! Its not that I have forgotten it - it will be posted shortly.....
Dear Gowri
I haven't written much about the new Public Speaking Course that I have enrolled in which I attended the second class today evening. The class normally runs for 8 - 10 sundays - 9 AM to 1 PM in the noon & since I missed last sunday class (the second session), I was asked to come for a compensatory class today. Though the class is normally conducted at Hotel Palmgrove, today - being a compensation class meant for absentees was conducted at their office cum residence at Adyar.
These are thorough professionals of second generation - the classes were started approx 45 years back by the father of the current MD who runs the show supported by his resourceful wife who compliments him nicely. The MD's mother - an interesting lady - who is a little over 60 years old - also add to the faculty in addition to these two - who has been associated with these self improvement classes since her Husband promoted it...meaning that she has close to 40 years of experience in the field....
This vibrant lady who appeared bit comical for me last sunday when I went for the first class as she had gold every where in her body.... All the 10 fingers had 4 to 5 rings each until the first joint of the finger & she was wearing practically 3 to 4 dozens of chains (I will call them as "chains" only) in her neck - I found her supporting the administrative aspects of the class - collecting money and issuing study materials before the class started...
Just then, the MD started the first session with a flawless english and kept us totally focussed for close to 1 & half hours, introduced the faculty in detail for which both the ladies waved their hands from behind...and the intro session ended with experience sharing of the people who had done the class in earlier batch (they start a new program every 1st week of alternative months....)....I was reminded of Isha's techniques and kept comparing & getting connected to Isha until this point...
The MD announced that after a small break his mother (he through out called her as "amma" though the lecture was in English) will take over the class.... He called her from the mike quite informally, asking her to take the mike for which she matter-of factedly told she needs to go to rest room.... All of us waited for her to join us...and the dutiful son kept giving intro about her mother until she reached him....he told us to just obey his "amma" though she may appear doing stupid things...and how ever awkward we all felt to repeat what was asked to be done....!!
A new excitement started building up inside me when the grand mother reached the stage and told us if any one of us mind to accept her as our mother....and whether she can consider all of us as her children...without any hesitation we all nodded and I particularly took note of her simple and plain English...which was having no professional standards...
Then the lady started and kept us raptured with lot of utterly silly things...she shouted at some of us, called one of us for a open fight with her in tamil (she was literally telling the person "keesiduven" in high pitch making many of us roar in laughter seeing the plight of the other person !!)...and started doing lot of craps with her whole body shaking and with strange gestures with her hands and face.....which all of us started repeating with lot of enthusiasm though initially we felt ackward....!! The whole purpose of this session was to shed our inhibitions and I felt that it worked miraculously....in a totally non-isha way.... !!
After all , I realised any thing that has survived for 4 decades must have an element of workability / practicability in it & thats why she is able to afford to hang so much of gold around her....At the end of the first day class at 1 PM noon, all of us did not fail to say a bye to "amma" who was sitting exhausted in a chair at the back of the class....with her hyper energy displayed and sprayed on all of us....!!
Now, as some one who is embarking on this as a career, I felt a great reverance for this old lady who has added so much colour to her son's professionalism....and being a integral part of the class. Now I realised much better why the alumnis - when they spoke during the intro session did not forget to mention their gratitude for "amma" and kept thanking her... At the end of the first session itself, I got into a mental state that I just forgot all the gold that this old lady was wearing but was able to identify with the soul of this grand lady....who remains as the foundation of the class that I have joined....
Now, I would like to add one more instance on my class learnings which justifies the title of this posting....During the First sunday class, the MD casually narrated an incident on the way to the class which would have lead to an accident - a two wheeler riding straight at the car and had our MD not applied brakes and was not alert, the boy in the two wheeler would have died...He was trying to tell a point that he did not even get angry with the young man and just told him "paarthu poppa...!!" . This came from him calmly without shooting up his BP was because he had the ability to take a full control over himself in extreme situations...!!
As I have heard of similar incidents narrated at Isha circuit quite often & infact have the opportunity (& Lucky!! ) to handle myself too in some rare situations properly, this did not make much ripples inside me though I heard him intently....
In today's compensation class, I had with me a gentleman who narrated an incident that happened at his office today that could have normally put him in high temper but getting reminded of this incident narrated by the MD, he was able to handle the situation much better.... Now, this was a surprise revealation to me as today happens to be the 13th day from the first class and this person too missed last sunday class just like me...and that is why he is there for the compensation class.
Today's class was handled by the wife of the MD who was too pleased with this man's narration and was taken aback with the realisation of the fact when I told her this fact quite impulsively....I was appreciating this person quite irresistably that this has sunk so deeply within him that he was able to get reminded after close to 2 weeks....!!
NOw this is the beauty of the impacts that external situation make on us...I am not talking about total transformations which is quite rare and such phenomena goes beyong the world of words and language;
Some times the same incident does create different impacts on different people based on their past history and what they are exposed to...and the way they internalise things that happen to them / what they observe from others is a truely interesting pheonomenon !! While I took the original incident lightly, today in front of computer, I am priding myself on being able to appreciate this type of subtle learning much better though few incidents cease to be of particular significance to us on the first hand...!!
Am I making myself clearer ?? Perhaps I could be better understood when you stumble upon some learning yourself which was unintended & unexpected....
Eagerly looking forward for more of such learnings and becoming more humble with the weight of such experiences.....in the 7 more sundays...starting from tomorrow !!
Krishnaarpanam...
suchoo

** A contrast comparison **

ISRO placed all the 10 satellites, in a single launch, successfully in the orbit. The previous record was 8 satellites in one launch and that was done before two years by Russia. ISRO is a huge success story and it makes us all feel proud of it. In my view, the success of ISRO should be attributed to its setup in that it is away from the clutches of the Govt and is a sort of independent body (though not totally independent). When we look at a few organisations, which are more under the Govt - the result is more appalling. DRDO - the lesser we talk about it, the better !! Lets take the latest news on the Arjun Battle tank to substantiate the reasoning. 35 years after the project was approved, we still have five major defects. From the original project cost of Rs 15.5 crore, we, so far, have spent 305.6 crore !!

Army has said that the tank suffers from low accuracy and consistency, chipping of gun barrels, shearing of top rollers and failure of hydro pneumatic units (data from "The Hindu"). Our Defence Minister states, "The rectification of defects and performance of tanks are being closely monitored". How long?? Army states that the tank has low accuracy - which means, for eg, if Mambalam is targetted we would end up firing at Tambaram !!

** New Invention ! **

"Rise in global prices of food grains is because the Indian middle class has attained a level of prosperity and they have started consuming more resulting in the world wide shortage of foodgrains." ....... After great research work, Mr. Bush, who incidentally happens to be the President of USA, has found out this reasoning. I recommend that he be given this year's Nobel Prize for Economics !!

A new series in the offing !!

Prelude ::: Quoting myself in a posting made couple of days back.....for better clarity
"Kallikkaatu Idhihaasam
I spent close to 2 hours in this 24 hours re-reading one of the master pieces of Vairamuthu...the writer-turned poet....This novel exploded on me and I was wondering how enriched and clear this person's mind is.....
.....I thought I will at least write a detailed commentary on this novel...with accurate translations for few poetic descriptions.....with my maximum vocabulary.....describing the speciality of the novel to a non-reader or some one who does not know him....The second one is possible...if only, I place my mind on it... I have already placed my mind on it.... A commentary on a Native Ithihaasam may be in the offing before the end of 2008.....!!"

Dear Gowri
Do you remember Steven Covey's Time Quadrants - with special reference to Second Time Quadrant....? "Things which are important but not urgent"..... By pushing things that we want to do to happen "before the end of 2008", there is a great risk of the same never getting done....
As I continued the novel in the past two days, I realized that it is worth embarking on a project on this novel...I do have plans to buy "Karuvaachi Kaaviyam" but thats later....Now let me make some structured commentaries on this first master piece of Vairamuthu....
The purpose of this posting is to set the premises for the project..... The novel is close to 400 pages and it actually deserves & is capable of producing 800 pages commentary / analyses from me...Considering the fact I do have a 10 hours office & there is a risk in losing the only reader of mine in this blogsite, I intend to contain myself and attempt some thing like 8 to 10 chapters as I wrote "Walk towards the peak"....
Irrespective of whether you have read this novel or not, my mission in this connection is to give a reader a vicarious pleasure as if he had read this novel by himself.... I do have some extended goals around this base statement made....
First is that, the reader - like me - will get enriched by knowing lot about the culture and traditions of the part of land (Kallikkaadu) in which the story revolves around... I was talking to my brother recently on the magnetism about T.Janakiraman and his famous novels....He expressed a view that since we belong to his culture (Tanjore & Brahmins), we are able to relish his novels better...If only we knew carnatic music, we could have appreciated this great writer even more as T.J sprays his music expertise in most of his novels. This particular discussion was some thing that I was thinking about the past two days.... An alien culture of Tamil Nadu which is also poverty ridden is made quite familiar now to me as I read through this novel....Isn't it a contradiction to our earlier discussion and the (seemingly) conclusion that we drew upon ?? So the narrating style can inject even some thing so far unfamiliar into us deeply if they have necessary skill set.... (now I dont undermine TJ any way...that he did not "inject" music inside us....he must have had his own limits....considering that we are Gnana Shuunyams)
Secondly, being a poet basically, Vairamuthu had provided abundant situations where we can relish his power over the language. I intend to capture as much as possible in a particular posting...may be in two or three postings....He has quoted lot of local proverbs through his characters (he calls it "solvam" which by itself a local word to mean proverb..) and their dialogues & also has used few local slangs...I wish to record the subtle learnings that these aspects provide us...
Thirdly, I could see the powerful manner in which we can visualise few scenes as though we are seeing a cinema...Just an example here, the Hero's two bullocks (his pets) are taken away by money lenders..and our hero - an old man is bruding about their fate in the night time unable to sleep.....He gets a jolt to hear their familiar voices outside his home and rushes to see them...Let me translate the exact words as how our hero sees his bullocks which had escaped from the ruffians and had reached back faithfully to their affectionate master.... "One bull (MayilakkaaLai) is found with torn off the rope to which it was tied....while the other one (sevalakkaaLai) had pulled out the base-stick in which its rope was tied up...Both of them looked as if they told him ..."yes, sir, we have come"
{Now I realise that to do a better job of his translation, I should improvise more but....I dont want to stop this project for any excuses...how ever genuine it is...By the by, the intention is not to make a scholarly translation but to spray how I felt when I read the novel}
Now the beauty of aforesaid piece is that, the narrator could have chosen to be superficial in his description...but when I read this line in Tamil, I actually saw the scene with two bulls using their respective strength and will power to release themselves from the tied up ropes...!!
Fourthly, the humour sense that Vairamuth has within himself, has nicely come up in the novel...and I want to group them and show them as one posting.... Some of it is can be visualised though we dont belong to his culture.....
Fifthly, I would like to present the micro level characterisations and the techniques used by Vairamuthu to help us to visualise his various characters of the novel....Honestly, I have some surprise why no one attempted to make a film out of this story.....it got released in 2001 as it has tremendous scope for making a good movie when we have half a dozen Tamil Fanatics calling themselves close to native Tamil Nadu.. Perhaps they may have struggle in deciding upon how to infuse sex and vulgarity in this wonderful novel where even a mating scene is narrated with a powerful visualisation possibility.... !! Let me reserve this for the main series ....
Last but not the least, I will be starting up the whole series only after narrating the whole of the story - in condensed form.... so that the reader (I mean, the reader of my series) can really settle down for the next question in his mind....WHY this novel is special....We need to make the WHAT clear, first right ?? So the first posting is about a brief intro on the preface written by Vairamuthu & also the mainline story ....
Now, coming back to the Title of this posting, I am beginning to understand that there is too much scope in every thing around us....whether we read a novel or enjoy a morning walk or we decide to do nothing.... !! I only wish and pray Almighty that I dont cool off for the next one month...so that this series.....will become a reality...Like all my other musings, this too is mainly written to satisfy my expression syndrome and I can helplessly observe a big longing getting more and more intense to get out of this spree of expression...
With my active involvement in this blog and my venting off, I can experience stillness during most part of the day when there is no need to talk BUT when I start interacting, I can see that the apetite to express takes over which some times enervate me complete... I wish to become a master communicator capable of speaking just adequate...!! Moderation is a way of life...right ?? OR as Gowri nicely puts it,...... "averaging out" may appear quite normal when we dont have much of standard deviation.....!!
Regards
suchoo

Moments of Bliss 13 - Contd.....

Gowri...this could be too boring for you....I swear... Its a typical diary that I used to write when I maintain it manually...felt like doing it at least for one day....You may choose to skip it......
Hi
Let me get into seratum of events / incidents as it happened trying to record the facts as crisply as possible....
(a) Adventure with my old motor cycle and seeing the beauty within a ruffian's heart
My Motor Cycle got into a minor problem these days...the key meant for Petrol is quite difficult to turn from Main-->Reserve....and it got quite worsened today when I wanted to turn it...Incidentally I had gone to office and since I wanted to go to Tambaram to stay with Amma, I took half day leave and was quite sure I am going to have this problem as the petrol in reserve could never be utilised...I tried to get it done with a local shop close to office but the motor cycle stopped within a Kilo metre as there had been some problem with the Petrol pipe inside the lock and needed replacement....I originally thought it was a starting problem and kept trying to keep kicking the starter in hot sun and decided to wait at a automible shop on the main road....As the shop owner was not there, I was asked to wait by his neighbour for few minutes...and never imagined that half hour was elapsed as I was deep into "The Fountainhead"....then, sensing the purposeless ness, I pulled off the mo bike to another shop few metres away where a shrewd boy detected the problem exactly...and asked me to get the spare from a shop which he told is a kilo metre away....He also suggested me to go in Share Auto which never came, so I took an auto for to and fro and got the spare...Instead of just the tube, I thought he needed the whole of petrol lock and had bought it for close to Rs.220...Infact I was puzzled as the boy told it will cost max 60 only....When I reached back the shop, the boy clarified me that it was a clear mistake and I had to go once again...Just then, another boy in 20s....reached the shop in his bike (yamaha) who is perhaps the shop boy's friend....When I was bit hesitant to hire an auto once again, the shop boy suggested his friend to help me..for which he was reluctant telling his vehicle was in "reserve" .... With sun above the head, feeling quite hungry & tired... and already late to reach home (it was around 3.30 PM already), I touched the shoulder of the friend boy and pleaded his help....literlally pushing him towards the bike....I noticed that his bike appeared brand new and was well maintained ...when we moved towards the shop....after getting the right spare to be obtained, when I got back into the bike again, I casually asked this boy if it was a new bike....He proudly told nodded negatively...(UNTIL NOW he was bit rude and showed clearly that he was not a willing partner !!). With genuine appreciation, I told him that the vehicle not only looks bright and nice but also is quite smooth while riding....for which he - while driving - turned back and showed up all his teeth - with a big smile - that his bike is like his "kozhandai...." Suddenly I realised that every one seems to have a soft spot and some thing nice / proud about himself and if only we can stir it up....knowingly or unknowingly.........
(b) The psychological strength my amma derived from me and my presence
I almost forgot when my amma became sick..I mean really sick...before this...perhaps a decade back.....OR before that.....She gave me a call at 12 o clock noon while I was at office...asking if it is possible for me to come the next day - that is today....for a night stay....When I repeatedly asked what is the reason sensing some local squabble, she told she has temperature....and complained that she has abnormal body pain....She also had developed rashes all over her face and body and she got into a doubt if it is some pox variety (ultimately it was not so....after I reached, the Doctor did not confirm what it is but it subsided within 24 hours..before I came back today)....I immediately informed the office and left to Kpuram after some adventure with my motor bike....She had temparature of around 103...and needed my massaging....which I dutifully did for close to 1 hour..... It was so beautiful that she recovered with the sheer pyschological support and to some extend physical support from me ... and I was watching through out the 24 hours on how lonely this poor lady feels with not so healthy atmosphere at home...I also visited a Bhaba temple 5 KM away from my home and got her some special vibhoothi today morning which made her balance 1 % too alright... I also had a blasting session with her on her needless revisits to pasts and creating self pity....I am covering it seperately....While my mouth spoke, I just got involved with the content of my message more than my 100 %....as I thought it will do her some good and put her back in rails.....considering that she is going to be all alone again....Well that is being covered later...
(c) Kallikkaatu Idhihaasam
I spent close to 2 hours in this 24 hours re-reading one of the master pieces of Vairamuthu...the writer-turned poet....When I accidentally noticed the date in the preface of this novel, it appears he has written it in 2001....and I was quite surprised...I was in the next house of Vairamuthu in the same year at Trustpuram...before we got a flat for ourself....We were in a side portion of an independent house & when we go to open terrace, we see Kavignar walking all alone and writing at his open terrace which is very closely visible...to us...
In fact it is quite at audible distance and looks like Anoo had once talked to him too....after he smiled at her in a friendly manner....He asked her name and guessed if she was the only daughter to her parents...quite right !! After having words of courtesy, it appears he has invited us to his home which we never did....during that 1 year of staying at Trustpuram...Even now, I keep seeing him in the circular park Kodambakkam....and this particular novel and its sequel (which I am yet to read) - which was named as "karuvaachi kaaviyam" has a resemblance of his child hood and the characters of his own rural up bringings....
This novel exploded on me and I was wondering how enriched and clear this person's mind is.....The novel is simply amazing and I started wondering if I could take up project on this novel.....like....trying to translate it in English.... It could be viewed as absurd by those who feel the strength of the novel is the local slang and the culture of the interior of the TN state.....BUT my point is different... I was wondering for few minutes if I can bring the innocence and the turmoil in English by developing some translation on the same theme....and being silent on the cultural aspects..... Since I was not too sure, I thought I will at least write a detailed commentary on this novel...with accurate translations for few poetic descriptions.....with my maximum vocabulary.....describing the speciality of the novel to a non-reader or some one who does not know him....The second one is possible...if only, I place my mind on it... I have already placed my mind on it.... A commentary on a Native Ithihaasam may be in the offing before the end of 2008.....!!
(d) on my early morning practises in the open air at 6 AM after a wonderful open air bath
One strong temptation to me to visit our parent's place is the bath in the open air with a high tech shower fetching the fresh water from well directly before it reaches the overhead tank....and though I slept only by around 12 midnight....(I had been talking to my office on some urgent priorities with some one in the night shift), I could get up at 4.30 AM without any prompt.....!! I was sitting with my eyes closed for close to half hour and then reached out the back yard for a wonderful bath ..... which energised me fully and I was in upbeat mood....I reached the open terrace at around 6 AM sharp and did my breathing practises...with complete focus.... My pranayam and the new practise (Shambavi Maha Mudra) are these days always on and off...with me never doing it daily for 1 complete week and at the same time not leaving it out totally....
After a long time, I was doing it with full air getting into the lungs and it was so effective to experience the stillness...and I was out of the world until around 8 AM....staying there unwilling to come down....
(e) On my visit to a local Sai Baba temple today morning
These days, I am becoming slowly a devotee of Shirdi Sai Baba....(t00)... I never had much information about this gentleman except seeing his famous photo and stickers....and the visit to Shirdi made some impact on me...which is indescribable.. These days, as I walk down or travel in road, when I casually see his photo in some name board of a shop OR behind an auto, I keep staring it for few extra seconds reverentially with total focus....It has also happened some times, that intuitively I look at some street corners for a Baba photo ...and am able to spot it out some where close ... (it happened on last sunday...when I was walking in a street, suddenly wishing to do an experiment...turned all the four directions but unsuccessful...A maruti omni came in front of me...and when it crossed me, I felt like looking it and found Baba's photo in the rear glass...and with a smile, I started walking).
Now this Baba had a direct disciple to whom he (authentic information available in few books) transmitted the healing abilities....with vibuthi....This direct disciple reached Shirdi Baba at the age of seven and stayed with him until the latter's samadhi...and started wandering all over..reaching chennai ..and had his samadhi at a place near chitlapaakam....He is called as Viboothi Bhaba...He was physically available till 1980s and this sunday they are celebrating his 25 years of samadhi day.....!! I had visited this temple while in school days once a while but never knew its significance...To this place I went a fortnight back...where it is said he (That is the Viboothi Baba) visits even now...once a while...It is evidenced with scattered viboothi all over the floor...it is a common sight and the authorities of the temple gather this and distribute to the devottees...This direct disciple had announced a worldly person who lives in chromepet as his heir...who is quite a known person for our parents... He wears the typical attire of Bhaba and appears very normal. My mother got me introduced to him during the visit a fortnight back...
This man is some body I had wanted to make a posting but could not do....he is extremely simple..aged around 60 years and speaks quite normally... He does not show off as a God Man and clearly admits that he is being used as a tool by viboothi bhaba....!! he is married but no kids and the way he prays to his Guru with Viboothi in his hand before giving to the visitors, make us feel that he is praying for us...and any way will not exploit us....!!
I visited him and spent some time in this temple.....and was speaking to this man....for some time....Really different types of God Men around....!! He invited me for the Aaradhanai festival this sunday morning...for which I obliged...only later I realised my Public Speaking class is supposed to start this sunday...!! what a coincidence.....(some one is laughing aloud seeing my connecting abilities & imaginations.....!!)
(f) My socialising and communication during 24 hours....
I met a couple with their son in 10th standard who were our close friends...on the way to viboothi baba temple... It was so wonderful that the boy whom I met when he was 6 year old boy still remembered me...and while talkiing with them, I really felt that I was in full control..and keeping the conversation just perfect... I was not getting diluted with this socialising ...and at the same time, I made them feel its the same old suchoo....!! Perhaps it could be too difficult to put this in words...what I mean by "dilution" but, it is a reality for me...that my meditative state gets really a beating when I "indulge: too much.... The point is that it did not happen today....and when I kicked the starter of my mobike, it was so evident for me....
Further, during the interactions with my sisters who visited home and the neices, I was able to be extremely aware even when I cracked my usual jokes....and the voice was quite powerful and co-operative when I wanted to modulate...(is it becoming too much ??)
When my amma started bragging on some story of 1960, I waited for a while with an expressionless face and when I had an opportunity, I lashed her to make her understand that this is sheer stupidity to keep reliving bitter experiences....I think perhaps for the first time, she understood me when I speak like this...and perhaps did not continue further on the topic but I could also see that she was not hurt with my words... I passionately told her that to pamper her self pity is quite easy for me to do but I am not willing to do it....and made her realise that the current situation is much better for her than those re-lived past...and it is quite a stupid thing to remain in old days....!! I was through out determined not to lose my temper and that could be one important reason she turned cheerful before I left home..... Doing the needed things some time becomes necessary than going by people's wants....!!
(g) My absent mindedness & not getting impacted.....
It is quite amusing to me how I forget things and never get into problems because of that....!! it happened more than once today and I had to re-visit places (including the Saibaba Temple where I had kept my "kallikkaatu ithihaasam" novel and started moving towards home....!!), going back to Camp Road once again for getting the coffee powder and going in search of the pass book of my poor mother....!! to name the prominent ones...
I had to travel around 10 km extra in the hot hot sun..but what an acceptable mind I have...I never complained nor bruded about it....Perhaps this absent minded ness exist with me like a shadow because I am so compassionate to it....
(h) Return Journey to home
While returning back to home leaving parent's place by 3 PM, I could enjoy the hand mind co-ordination while driving and I was handling the bike extremely gracefully in the patches of the road....telling myself a confirmed statement..."all in the mind"....!! I saw a person lying in the new kathipaara bridge with a bleeding forehead quite unconscious (could be dead too) with very few people gathering around the accident spot...felt sorry for him and his family for a split second..
..and getting reminded of the constant insecurity that is always there in our lives.....!!
regards
suchoo

Moments of Bliss 14 ::: An unplanned visit to home town

Dear Gowri
Originally this series is expected to capture the various moment of bliss which is like a beautiful flower....and intended to become a garland over a period of time.... It so happened that the past 24 hours - to be exact 4.30 PM on 30th Apr to aprox time on 1st May, I had many such moments and helplessly I am in front of my computer to record them in my diary before the poor mind forgets it....
Have you observed this ....?? many times we forget things at much faster rate than the inputs of new experiences....I have really got scared in numerous occassions at my office - particularly during the past 15 months - when we discuss some thing official during coffee time and when we reach our desks and try to jot down the things to do, me and my colleagues smilingly keep staring at each other trying to recall all the points that we discussed.... In fact, I am quite proud to say, its not just me, both of them who join me for such discussions have also admired at this "short term memory loss" which is at times really terrible and tells us our capability of retention of our own thinking processes..... !!
When I started this series, the main purpose in my sub-conscious mind was to capture all such subtle moments in a systematic manner which give me the previlige to re-live any time I want to.....
This is again the beauty of Brain..once reminded, it gets the things in three dimension if it was really a worthy moment....Still not so confident about this poor vital organ - I am sorry, I heard some where that Brain is not one of the five vital organs...its just a junction of nerves & not an organ in medical terms - I have started recording even some trivial instances in a detailed manner...totally forgetting the logical frames of mind on security, identity, relevance & of course your patience !! Thanks to you for your reminder on the open nature of the blogs...but It did not and will not matter much to me for the reason stated above....!! This is just a tool for me which I will keep using as long as I am getting bored.....!!
Now, my oozings during mid night and early morning thru' sms is not some thing that made me happy but it was the reverse - the small poems that I wrote were the result of my happiness....I was in a savage mood that if only I got a pen and paper (I am sorry, a book) I could have filled it up with 2 dozens of poems.....but I controlled myself and went to bed not to disturb the ailing mother's sleep....
Well posting those poems in a mail along with this posting.....and of course this posting will be continued after some time too....Oh....I am getting reminded that my another posting on my Decade Long married life is yet to be completed...Hope both are completed before this week end....
Too much of experiences in this past 24 hours... and my awareness levels shooting up several notches higher making me observe lot of little little things .... and I was too powerful in my communication...I mean, I was just adequate without exerting me too much and not disturbing my mental state.....
Let me continue after a break....I have to write about the adventure with my old motor cycle and seeing the beauty within a ruffian's heart, the psychological strength my amma derived from me and my presence, on the really wonderful novel which I started re-vising after a space of 5 years (Kallikkaattu idhihaasam...Vairamuthu), on my early morning practises in the open air at 6 AM after a wonderful open air bath, on my visit to a local Sai Baba temple today morning, the meeting and talking of old time friends / relatives on the way, the wonderful food that I relished yesterday night and today afternoon, on the powerful & impactful talk with my amma, on my absent mindedness and not getting impacted because of it..... & on the return journey to my residence....Too difficult to leave out any thing...Let me try to be as abstract as possible but I may still have a very long posting as the sequel of this......I dont wish to make each of them as seperate posting......as It could take too long...
Time to conserve my energy and make postings like poems from now on....





Subhamasthu....