Manager in the making - 7 ::: New twist to this series title....!!

Dear Gowri
I vividly remember the cause / purpose of this series when I started...to record my proud moments of evolving at my office in managing / leading people before I eventually become one....
I am getting reminded about a beautiful tamil novel written by M.V.Shivakumar who was my sister's colleage who had penned few novels too and had some association in film industry...One of his novel is titled "vedanthaangal"...the story revolves around a group of children gathering together in a relatives house for summer vacation....sort of memoirs of the writer on his childhood and naturally we are mistake / interpret the title of the story to mean the birds sanctuary.... Towards the end, this writer nicely interprets the title of the story to give a totally different meaning....He decides to act in his life and to avoid his natural style / flair in order to compete with the world...Yes, he will interpret the title in the last few pages of the novel, "vedam thaangu".....making us aware that we were duped in our earlier interpretation....
Now, some thing like this has happened to this series too...at least could happen over a period of time and the eventful past 2 days helped me to put few pieces of zigzaw puzzle in place about which I never had a clue until now.....!! Let me come back to this later and handle the pieces of the puzzle, right ??? (I am become a big katha kaalakshepagaa......getting too indulged in narration, connecting and dismantling ......)
Well, I had vividly captured the serious questions that I was exploring on thurday night after rubbing off with my boss and eventual reconciliation....Further, couple of other dimensions too happened to add to this postings....
The second aspect is the training session which I did on Thursday where the whole of 15 participants gave their whole hearted participation to my session though it was a worst day for me in terms of preparation....I gathered myself within 5 to 10 minutes of my start....but I could have done lot better with rehearsing the opening 3 or four times.....!! I was looking at my connecting abilities and the way I was pulling the silent trainees in to the fray..cheering them up and virtually all of them responded... One of my peer who is a designated trainee for a big department (from which this whole group of thursday session had come), also sat in during the session as an observer who is supposed to be my backup...He was in all smiles and praise to me at the end of session telling me few innovative things I did was breathtaking ...and I rate his comment much more than my own perception as it comes from some one who is in training people....
The peak of the session came when one of the participant, a young boy, reached me to just hold my hand for couple of seconds before he left the hall...So much inspired by me and eager to look at the emails generated by him in future with lot more care and attention as it deserves....!! IT was a defining moment to me to get more information on this industry and if by any chance I can become a Full Time Trainer instead of being an eternal average performer in what ever I am doing now.... Both the sessions that I have handled now, I had skipped lunch and being a great "eater" and "relisher" this by itself is a great metric for my intensity to stand as a teacher...or a trainer....and as this is a profession by itself needing some formal preparation, I do realise that I have to work a little bit before turning to be a true professional....
Now there is a probability that I may get my promotion in next 6 months max and this thought that has come to me irresistably had to be explored further...so I impulsively got in touch yesterday with a Trainer whom I know..I have met this gentle man in one of a training session in the same company couple of years back AND have also seen him conducting some training programs in my earlier company too...A very seasoned guy and a person with whom I was in touch once a while during the past 2 years...
Like a shishyaa, I was there reaching his home after seeking his availability with half kg of sweets purchased from my favourite savarana bhavan...handed over it to him reverentially like a Gurudhakshanaa....He had gone out by the time I reached his home at virugambakkam AND i was allowed some privacy by his mother in his office room which was electrifying with a huge collection of books neatly arranged on leadership, mentoring...inspirational quotes ....and what not...Here I am in the office room of a person who is self made and has sold 2 decades of experience in the field and vibrates people around him with his magnetic voice and his captivating sessions....
After he joined me, as a good Trainer, he lent me his ears for a full 15 minutes hearing me out....Even when I was in sort of doubt if wants to say some thing, He assured me that he wanted to listen.....I could see some expressions in his face as I unveiled my love for his profession and confessed that I am really bruding if this is too late to migrate....!!
At this point he started speaking telling me reassuringly that he migrated to this career exactly at my age....and his son was just born (second one) at that time....The next half hour he spoke....of the enriching career and the defining moments of his life and did not mind acknowledging that he has faced the same type of emotions and reverences when he migrated...and gave me lot of useful information and tips on what I should do....
I was literally absorbing every word he spoke yesterday night between 7.10 PM to 8.20 PM and got some phone numbers to be contacted further...the first one which I did right today morning...This is a place at Adyar who conduct public speaking classes at low cost only on sundays...which he felt is something very crucial for a person like me to undergo...He recalled that it was a great experience for him to undergo this powerful course which he did under the founder of the institution which is currently handled by his son as the old man got too old to handle the classes.
I also intend to attend one program which he (meaning the person whom I met yesterday) personally conducts....which will be post june only as he is away for a US tour during May and June.....(He travels literally every year to US to get trained AND also to give some programs there to finance his tours....)

Now comes the third & the last dimension....a contact from a placement services to whom I had forwarded my resume came back today morning stating that my resume may not be felt as a HOT one by any candidate.... While I can always improve the same as per her recommendations / suggestions, Let me also candidly admit that I had never been a great performer at office until last year & so there may not be much of data to fill up in my resume even if I wish to expand it..... I continue to carry a low self image about my background in my profession...I never touched any academic book after 1996 and never had an urge to go through the budgets after the same is presented in parliament....and worse, dont know the abc of stock market, mutual funds ....& cannot answer why the dollar rate is dipping....
Very true, there are people in my profession who can give a lecture on this subject bit superficially from what they gathered from Hindu and Express, but unfortunately I dont have an interest even to do even this.....!!
Now, a million dollar question has come to my mind...if I should take a plunge into something which I love to do....instead of my pet habit of hesitation and postponing things....I do have enough time to have some more shadow boxing (or rehearsels) in my passion in my current employment and wondering if at all I migrate, it should be only in the "white hot imperative" instead of another company with same field....
Now the title of this series is mocking at me.....Yes, here is some one who is seriously toying an idea to make lot of managers and leaders.....with the inspiration that he can provide abundantly.....!!
Is this ending of this posting going to be a new beginning....?? OR is it just another fad ????
Krishnaarpanam...
suchoo