Transcendance 10 :::: Tasting the peak of Communication GAPs

Dear Gowri
On Thursday (day before yesterday) I was literally dumbfound / absolutely beaten up with a communication gap (rather series of communication gaps) that happened at my office...and I thought - as usual- let me record the details of the same which I may tend to forget gradually over a period of time.....Madhoo, my darling, should also know her father fully well and I guide her even after I am physically not there with her....(idhu konjam over..illa ??)
Well, where to begin.... ????? I had been to SBI on thurs morning in connection with the last stage of my Loan which I had applied for purchase of a land....
For that matter, I was never serious about this investment which my better half feverishly organised as a long term investment for us....She was literally keeping herself very busy in seeing many sites in and around sriperumbudur AND spend close to 2K for her Cell Phone to follow up this particular land piece which she finally decided....
Of course, I will never absolve from this deal totally and was fully ok for her decision and her sincere AND responsible step to make a savings...I had given a whole hearted go ahead to her to proceed further but was neither curious to know the details of the investment nor I am excited about getting the land piece registered (which eventually happened yesterday)....When Anoo congratulated me at Registrar's office, I looked at her blankly wondering what extra ordinarly has happened to feel so excited.....!! Well Am I drifting away from Thursday's episode ....Let me come to friday later....

Well, considering the fact, that the bank (SBI) wanted me (the loan applicant) to visit personally just before the day of registration to sign few documents and based on which they will prepare the cheque amount (& physically hand over personally to the land developer only on the venue of Registration on the next day)...I had to go there...I thought it could me max one hour and had taken permission from my boss to reach bit late to office....
(I may lose my patience if I go into the horrible procedures of SBI.....and the way they have killed us (I mean Anoo...not me....) in every stage... Already I had spent a horrible half day at the bank at the time of sanction wasting my "earned" leave at office) let me stop here...
I had a session on communication training (want to be specific here...In the capacity of Trainer !!) at office between 4 PM to 8 PM...for which I have to go to another location of our own office which is 3 km away from our Office and I had to take a cab sharp at 3 PM in the noon...The original plan was that I will finish my bank work and reach office by 11 AM and do few basic things upto 2 PM, have lunch and then leave lesisurely for my training session..The plan was flawless and I had smsed both my Boss and another colleague the prior night that I am not going to bring lunch...
Here I have to say a few words on our lunching together which has become a sort of great sharing and caring episode these days with me, my boss AND two direct reportees of mine having memorable time during lunch...kidding each other and enjoying the food collectively....There were lot of days when my boss does not even bring lunch and we just give a share from ours...making his total share much more than our own....!! This was the first time, I gave an SMS just to alert them so that they too dont come empty handed...
I got a prompt sms from him on wed night that he will bring lunch AND Will also bring extra quantity....!! so far so good...
I got stuck up at bank until 1 PM and when I rushed to chepauk station to catch the MRTS train, I realised that I was going to be late to office...meaning, I may not have time for a long lunch of half hour that we used to have...I was so convinced about this and I gave an SMS to one of lunch mates (not my boss) requesting them to carry on with their lunch as I am late (a train was just going over my head at chepauk...and I was sure the next train will be only after 20 minutes).
The communication gap started here...and the destiny smiled at me cruelly...this message did not get delivered at all and I never got suspicious about this episode and never became inquistive why I did not get a confirmation message as I was busy getting myself ready for the training session....rehearsing the questions to be asked...and the flow of the the training session.....sitting in a bench of the platform at Chepauk railway station.....!!
I had infact kept talking to all of them until I was in Bank and did not really have any suspicion about me & staying so long at bank and never gave any hint about missing the lunch..AND the extra quantity of lunch brought by my boss....I eventually got into the train at 2.10 PM from cheapuk reaching taramani station at 2.35 Pm, got into an auto to reach office and my seat at 2.50 PM....quite naturally went into the lunch room (we use the board room for our lunch...I mean just four of us .....previlged people, right ??) to tell them a bye....
When I entered the board room quite casually and just as a courtesy apologised for delay, I suddenly noticed the fury in my boss face....and the three others in the board room - one more counter part had joined as a rarity.....and he told me just this..." I dont want to speak any thing...please leave right away...lets talk later"..... Considering the others hanging their heads down, I realised that some thing was really serious...and I did not even have the time to go further on why this fury....as my cab was leaving in few minutes...
I just smiled at them and hurried towards the basement....and just peeled off the whole worry in my mind like the onion skin...and got ready for the session that I need to handle for 4 full hours.....The session went on too well like my previous session (seperate posting) and during the break that I gave the participants, I called one of my lunch mates and understood that my SMS never reached them..... Realising the reason for the rage of my boss, I told him to book a cab for me at 11 PM in the night...as I had to do some amends at least after my training session (The session was between 4 to 8 PM and I changed my decision to go to home directly from this other office....felt like going back to my own office and address the issue......FURTHER, I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE LEAVE ON FRIDAY FOR THE LAND REGISTRATION.....about which I never had hinted until now....!!
Well these are the problems of getting associated with people bit closely than what is required but believe me it was an interesting situation to handle....I was fully exhausted at 8.45 PM when the session ended (I had to extend it by 45 minutes considering people's involvement....that comes later in seperate posting) and the 3 idlies that I had at 8 AM in the morning had evaporated long back and I was almost like a corpse when I reached back my office....Though my mind was so charged with the wondeful interactive training session...
I could see that my boss was sitting in his seat (he leaves to home around 9 normally) and one our lunch mates who had booked a cab for me was also found....My boss looked at me with a big smile and asked about the session....how well it went off ?? (this is one of his great qualities....childlike....and capable of gathering himself at any moment...). Being from rural background he had demonstrated many times that wastage of food is some thing makes him too unhappy and angry....and here I was there as a victim....and reason for a big wastage of HIS food.....
I did the most right thing I guess, with a broad smile told him that I dont mind eating the left over now...for dinner if he permits me....!! I had planned to go to canteen to take food , but some time unconsciously we do right things, right ??? this moved / melted him, I suppose, he immediately lifted his lunch box, smelt the whole thing like a DOG and handed over it me....I diluted some sour curd he have with lot of water, had some kootu as side dish and was hungrily eating the buttermilk rice sitting alone in our canteen area (which is restricted to our team only)...
Visibly moved, he along with my other buddy joined me at 10 PM to the canteen and then the inevitable arguement started and lasted for next 1 hour....He expressed something like 'irresponsibility" from my side which I countered vehemently.... It was an evenly poised discussion - meaning that I had enough reasons to defend myself but I was also secretly appreciating their view points....I had clarity at my heart with all my initiatves while I was stuck up in the bank for the whole of forenoon to avoid any communication gaps....but what cost heavily was that single "undelivered SMS message" which had never happened to me until now....I had always used SMS as the most convenient and swift way to get in touch with people and for the first time, it had fooled me....
This is not just the only commuication gap, but at least half dozen other things happened which had put both of us in wrong understanding of each other's position and situation....making the communication gap more and more.....I actually felt like laughing at the nice manner the whole thing had been fabricated and designed..but he was not in a mood of such macro level wisdom that I always possess and nourish.....
I was appreciative of his views and the reasons for his anger on me knowing him and his simple mind fully well.... but at the same time, I was quite agressive with him when he started uttering some thing that I will not be scaleable if I can be so unreliable....At a point, I even told him that I did not mind being a DM for the whole of my life if such an extreme view is taken.....!! (too much....and daring...but just to give a glimpse of our intimacy).... When he started talking about a meeting that he had organised at 1 PM with my team hoping that I will return by that time, I had to politely counter him telling that he cannot just like organise a meeting 15 minutes earlier and expect some one who has not even reached office to fly and join the meeting (he is known for his all of a sudden meetings.....and in my perception, he is a poor time manager though he has other good qualities)
The other lunch mate became like a "perusu" trying to console both of us and candidly told that he was so scared to speak our manager for the whole of the afternoon...as he found him so fierce and disturbed....throughout....The latter immediately laughed and told he never felt so much anger in his life.....When I reached back to my seat and shared what went on with another lunch mate....he nicely summarised the whole fiasco....AND the emotions that played a role in our discussion....I give below his words as much as possibly exact....
"they always say, you get very angry when you have so much love...he loves you so much and that is the reason for getting so harsh"...
His statement which he made with all smile and understanding our great relationship made me feel bit proud...but at the same time, I started thinking seriously....from that moment..."Am I getting too much personal ?? Can this type of personal relationship really good to be proceeded further ?? Am I really taking shelter under this type of person and becoming a puppet in his hands.....Does this type of personal relationship play a part in allowing me the luxury of remaining depressed for days together.....?? Lot more abstract questions.....!!
the musings continue.....Will be "surrendered" to Lord Krishna...only at the end of the sequel...
suchoo