Transcendance - 3::: Swallowing anger

Today Anoo wanted to buy some wall hanger for Gayathri's new house which is getting built....She had requested me to take her to Mylapore after the Dance class at T.Nagar was over as she had seen some exhibition at Shankara Hall, Alwarpet couple of days back having lot of wonderful wall hangers....sort of cloth material which can be laminated to be displayed in hall

We reached the place after finding our way in busy traffic ; she was already too tired with a long day and was so eager to visit this particular shop and I did not want to spoil her mood....Both along with Madhoo reached the place and I warned her to make it time bound as we have to go for some other shopping too for Madhoo (which episode is the "moment of bliss" that follows). With a friend expected to reach home at 8 PM, I hoped she will be slightly more decisive today which is a tremendous area for improvement for her (at Ford, we dont use "weakness" at our performance appraisal discussions.....its been insisted by our HR repeatedly).

I normally avoid joining her for her shopping and ensure that I dont get affected with her confusions and "silly" decision points which makes me restless, I confess. This was an odd day and I was trying to walk along with Madhoo to see through the various items exhibited without any idea to buy any one of them.....While Anoo was getting started on her confusions on too many wall hanging materials, madhoo had started feeling restless as I had committed some thing to her.....!! After trying to keep myself cool, I decided to go close to her and check up on how far the deal is through...

As usual, she had two different pieces in her hand and was unable to find which one is the best one amongst them...Pretending to be too sincere, I suggested one of them as the best (it was randomly picked) for which she instantly agreed.....(she was relieved of a difficult decision, you know). She then accidentally saw a much better one getting hanged and wanted that piece by passing the two pieces in hand....Seeing her firmness, I was whistling within myself and moved towards Madhoo pacifying her that its all over in next 10 minutes....When I turned back, instead of removing the one Anoo showed, the sales man was searching his huge bundle furiously (perhaps he too became restless).

I was still in balance and reached them again to check what was happening...Looks like he told he got another piece of same design and did not want to disturb his display trying to locate the alternative piece...When he showed the other piece with lot of excitement which appeared to be exactly same to my eyes....(I actually went through the design from top to bottom...sort of natural scenary with birds flying in the sky beneath the clouds), Anoo's sharp eyes got stuck with some minor change between the pieces....She politely asked the person to better give the one in display....I became too anxious to know how come I missed out spotting her problem (I quickly checked if the quality of the cloth material is ok and if it is torn or appear to be old stock...nothing was visible to my eyes)

She told me in a tragic voice that against the 6 birds flying in the one on display, this piece had only 4 birds and that makes this piece not so happy for her....!!

To put it very precisely, my anger rose up violently seeing the plight of her mind and I almost felt a word "chchchcheeeee" inside me full of disgust and hatred for this female, then I noticed suddenly that she was really feeling bad at the absence of the two birds....and will not feel happy with the one in hand....!!

I swallowed my anger and with a studied silence moved away from the scene and was standing outside the shop until she came out......She still had tired looks and did not appear so bright with the "best" piece according to her reaching her hand at last......!! It was close to 40 minutes in total at that shop......and perhaps quite rarely I managed to talk to her casually and not to get into a forceful mood of putting forth my philosophy on her.....I was so clear that there are few things out of my control and about which I cant do much about......Why to get angry ??

suchoo