Transcendance - 4 :: My First presentation recorded for the benefit of the world...

Hello Guys

Why do you think I was tempted to name the title of this piece in this manner....?? Of course, I am always a man with lot of words - both while speaking and also in writing but does that justify me to write a title so long.....if at all I wish any one to proceed further ?? Does it also sound bit egoistic or at least bit sort of one of my silly pranks??

It could startle any one who has read me sufficiently enough me & my behaviour in the past to even have a glimpse of the wisdom with which the title is named as it is !! yes.... Taking one by one, this presentation could go down in the history of Extra ordinary speakers of the world.....reminding the first speech of Vivekanada when he gasped for breath....and Martin Luther King who was shivering with fear for the whole night due to his fear of his failure....before he made his first public speaking....

I am considered as one of the best available at my company by my manager and have a handful of admirers who have been openly as well as in a one to one discussion acknowlege me the way I charm the people around me....and the clarity with which I speak....Even just before I started the presentation, during the lunch break, couple of my admirers at office (both of them are good looking females...please note) came to me to really wish me advance wishes as they were so confident of me and my abilities in this connection.....But what happened when the camera was switched on....A person like me who normally keeps smiling and involving people became so aggressive unable to face the volley of questions (quite deliberate) and getting totally out of control, leading to a chain of mistakes....not delivering what was planned, not at all involving the group, unable to speak coherently....& last but not the least, I remember I was just walking furiously towards one of those girls (who wished me during lunch time) with hands in my pant pockets.....as I could not take her silly comment intended to crack me up....Honestly I was thinking at that point of time that I was walking very majestic towards her, but the Trainer told me at the end of my ten minutes that he got scared if I am going to beat her up....!!

I could see more than half of the participants were giggling at me...making more desparate and self conscious and a very few were nodding their heads vigourously for any thing that I spoke more out of their compassion for me....and their wild imagination that this could happen to them too....quite shortly....!! When the Trainer asked me for my own feedback (before giving his one...and taking from audience), I noticed that I had just none in terms of positive feedback....I was standing in front of him with my throat completely dried up and body fully chill ....but I was lot more humble and willing to hear his comments.....!!

What went wrong ?? Just to give a glimpse of my "becoming silly", it was mainly due to the fact that I had rehearsed the presentation in my own normal way without trying to apply the tools that I learnt in the prior two days....!! yes...I was just framing few punch statements which I liked and thought will be effective....and really forgot the purpose of this session...this was not evaluated for the content part of it but only to sharpen our style of delivery and the choice of the tools that was taught...it was a huge mistake considering my age and designation....I should have considered such fundamentals before making decisions on my own...

The second tragedy was that I got (unfortunately) reminded of a beautiful presentation and the opening of my revered Guru during the lunch time and (believe me) imagined and kept rehearsing to start with a wonderful statement that he starts a particular speech that I like....really forgot the difference in our levels AND also it just slipped off my mind that it was a spiritual discourse that he did while I was making a presentation at office....what a huge mistake....!!

In fact I skipped the lunch as I was very restless and kept walking to and fro in the board room while all my mates had left for their lunch break.....I was furiously walking in the room like a hungry lion without any one around......imagining that this will kill my butterflies of the stomach......but unfortunately I forgot that the lion inside me woke up.....in the absence of any "men" around to eat up and sastisfy myself.....How else I could have been during the presentation than being agressive......

I was through out an enthusiastic participant during the three days and took charge of bullying most of the speakers......not really provoking them but to keep rubbing them on few fundamentals that they were missing....many of them started liking my probing questions and the way I pulled the speaker's legs ....and while some of my mates started getting silent after 15 to 20 presentation, I had enough reserve of energy till 9 PM though we started off at 9 AM !! Infact the Trainer had announced that those who want to leave can leave by around 7 PM but I was one of the few who stayed back till the end......how can I miss such extra ordinary and blissful moments of life......particularly when my company was giving some experience at its own cost....?? In fact the girl who presented last - with whom I did not have much contact earlier but just a acquaintance came and told me openly to stay till the end as she NEEDED my comments.....bold girl !!

Now is this musings a posting on tragedy ?? another "expression" to tire up the reader ?? OR by any chance it is a musing of an impractical "lad of life"....??

I clearly reached a state of nothingness yesterday peculairly not at the usual place where I have such experiences (not at yoga class or at Kedar) but at office in my full uniform.....!! Just to add as the last line, today, my simplest interactions at office was slightly better than what it used to be.....until now....

Thats....the monologue of.....a leader....in the making......!!

suchoo