Transcendance 22 :: My Realisations of today

Prelude : Well, Though I have written around 40 poems until now in the past 2 years, my favourite & the closest to my heart is the small poem titled "Agandam" !
I distinctly remember that I typed it out in a frenzy at around 10.30 PM and sms-ed to you. I even remember that I followed it up with another such short poem the next morning at 4.30 AM (not one …but two).
Leaving out the background and the structure of this small cute (am I too boastful ?) poem, it is some thing that I keep getting reminded quite often as it is nothing but truth – at least for me. You once said – in your feedback to my latest poems – that I am becoming a true poet as I am capable of writing poem from day to day events…..!! Well, in fact you are both right and wrong in your statement….!! For me, the reality about this cute little poem (Agandam) is that I get triggered about it quite often from day to day experiences……Some times converses hold good too !
Well , I am not going to say once again that this musings is going to be quite long….(you are accustomed to it by now, I am sure)....All I can say is that it could be lot more gripping than my earlier musings and I pray it is so interesting that you don’t even feel like taking a break until you finish thru' the end…..
This will also be another testimony of what I exactly mean by all these lines I have written above.

Incident in nutshell : My purse containing Rs.1600 (exactly) was stolen when I was travelling in a public bus today morning

Incident in detail : It happened today morning say around 9 AM while I was travelling to office in Public Bus. I normally join my boss who travels by his car to office as I was fortunately placed in my current temporary residence in his enroute. Being the last day at my current residence and considering the punctuality of the my boss, today, I wanted to travel by public bus today (& reach office bit later than usual!) and gave a SMS to my boss early in the morning to the effect. I had really enjoyed the privacy and independence of my first fortnight stay at Coimbatore and was actually feeling grateful for my current home.
{Planning to shift to my relatively permanent home tomorrow}
I had to take a bus for a 10 minute ride to the Main Bus stand and from there I should take another bus to reach my office which is half hour journey. Last week end, I had spotted a "Madurai idli shop" close to the main bus stand and my today's plan includes having my naashtha at this spot….(mind you, I have been consistently cooking and eating all these days here…..!!).
The bus which I took to reach the Main Bus stand was too crowded and I had to push through my way to climb up the stairs to avoid foot board travelling. While I reached for my purse to purchase a ticket, I had no other way other than to open it publicly as I did not keep the necessary coins ready in my shirt pocket (which I normally do). The 500 Rs notes obviously displayed Mahatma's radiant smile which must have attracted some one – who in all probability could even be a novice in his trade!! Well, within few minutes, intuitively when I reached for my back pocket, YES…it was gone. The tail piece of the story is that I reached office without having any breakfast
Incidentally this is the first time (pray it is the last time too) such an incident is happening to me though I am normally absent minded and bit careless. (by "incident" I actually mean losing money; How can I forget my visit to police station at Gothenburg when I lost my passport "just like that" in my Sweden visit during 2006 ?

Post script : Remember the article written by T.T.Rangarajan on his (eight) realizations on the eve of the 100th issue of Frozen thoughts & the learning's that he had in the 8 years of the existence of this magazine. This article which I literally typed out for my friends was also sent you, was mind boggling to me and I was craving seeing at his brevity and clarity of expression which is eluding me. I am always blessed (cursed ?) with too many words and was quite suffocated to read this article which is made with minimum possible words though he sought to share his profound wisdom.

I am trying some thing very similar inspired by this particular article. Unfortunately, I cannot make it so nicely and crisply like him and should compromise with giving some amount of details about this morning incident in the earlier paragraphs so that the "distortions" in understanding could be minimized if not arrested completely !!

Well, though this section is titled as "post script", does it actually sound like a prelude for the next section ?? Its always like that….an end leads to another beginning ! Here you go…..

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My Realisations @ Rs.1600 Theft dated 20th Jan 2009 ©
When the fact dawned upon me that my purse was stolen, the first impulsive feeling that I had was "even at Coimbatore ? "… With the nice humble people that I have always come across in this city, having this question in mind was almost an involuntary reaction which I recollect now so vividly.
I REALISE that good and bad always exist together and one's opinion about any thing is just the summation of his total personal experiences that he had about any subject. Sometimes, the tragedy is one tends to form an opinion based on what he has read and heard from others but still, unfortunately the opinions formed sticks to him so deeply as if it is his own personal experience. There is just no point fighting with others on the opinions expressed…it is just a feeling expressed and nothing to do with what I feel on the subject.

When an untoward incident like theft happens, why do we get so shocked? Technically speaking, we are robbed off the utility of any thing which is robbed off from us. I REALISE that loss of currency notes shock us to the maximum extent as they represent the abstract potential rather than a factual utility.

While fumbling to reach the purse to get the coins in the bus, I had without any big reason pulled out a Rs.10 Note along with the needed coin and kept in my shirt pocket. I was lucky to have this money at least with me to continue my travel to the office though I had to skip my planned breakfast in a hotel. I REALISE that the value of Rs.10 which I got with me by sheer luck is much more than the value of Rs.1600 which I gave away to a thief, though unwillingly.

I was able to recover back from the loss of money within a minute. Without trying to advertise it (not out of shame or self consciousness, it was more out of accepting the reality), I was trying to look around the faces around me unable to pinpoint the black sheep. Eventually in my second bus journey, I was able to enjoy the chill air of this city and the warm friendly smile of the person sitting next to me. I REALISE that our feelings and emotions can all be steered the way we want and the manner we prioritize things about our life. In a way, our true self reveals quite calmly only in such unexpected incidents.

I was wondering if I should tell this to Anoo casually after I reach chennai in a relaxed mood but brushed off the thought immediately. This is not a huge amount that is going to destroy our lives and definitely I cannot allow this to spoil the precious 4 days I am going to be with them. Considering the manner the incident and the "loss" will be perceived by her, I decided to HOLD BACK the incident within me. I REALISE the power and pleasure of holding back – whether it is words in the form of explanations or emotions taking the most physical form of semen…..HOLDING BACK seems to be a wiser option whenever feasible.

While I decide to hold back this incident from my near and dear, with my perennial urge to share it, I am posting this in the Web for any one to read ! , I REALISE the paradox in life some times which we have to consciously enjoy. – like the co existence of Moodam and mudhirchi….

On Jan 1st when I musing about things to be done and new initiatives to be taken up for 2009 (which I meticulously think about every year, though I might not see through them during the course of the year, which is a different matter altogether), I had intuitively taken a goal of buying a Bicycle for me (Even written it in a Goal Tracker sheet). I was triggered again on this goal during last week when my boss made a mention to me that from the location where I am going to stay in this city, there is a nice short cut to reach our office which can skip the busy highways through out the 6 km distance. Now, do I call this a coincidence that I am going to rigorously go ahead with my wish triggered by this incident? We will have a bus to pick up but it is going to be a rudimentary service for the whole of 2009 until the minimum number of mass joins the company for regular services. I REALISE that if we want to connect things we can connect the whole eternity into a web & if we don’t want to, we can laugh at any thing and every thing as a coincidence.

I wanted to have breakfast at a food joint today morning but ended up walking 1 and half kilometre from the bus stand to office with empty stomach. I REALISE that every single thing that we wish need not happen exactly the way we want. The best thing is to smile at those things which happened our way & laugh off at things that did not work our way. Well, I will be wise enough to have lunch bit earlier than usual today.

As an irony (or it is a tragedy), my boss picked me up in his car while I was walking towards the office. He knew nothing that happened and I did not tell him either. He never knew that it is not the same person who used to sit beside him every day for the past fortnight and that today I have become bit wiser. I REALISE that so much can happen to one individual while others may have a drab and plain day. For that matter, I could have had a peaceful incident-free day some time earlier when my boss got wiser on some specific day.

While travelling in the bus towards office, I saw an old frail lady with hunch back who was struggling to sit down in the ground as she realised that our bus will not take her to her destination. I was looking at her for few moments when the bus was still in that bus stop and in a particular moment both our eyes met. Suddenly it struck me that I am much better off than this lady who cannot even raise her head normally to see the bright blue sky in the day and the lovely nice moon in the nights. I REALISE that comparison is a great stress buster and mental reliever for mankind and though we should be wise enough to be sure that we are all unique, still we need to get connected to people around us frequently and compare all the good that has been blessed upon me.

While I am damn sure that I did not have more money than Rs.1600, I still carry a doubt if my Debit Card is also lost…by any chance. Though I am 99.99 % sure that it is safe in my suitcase at home, still I am not going to be relieved of this nagging in the mind until I reach home and verify it for myself. I REALISE that nothing comes to an end in life. While this posting comes to an end with a physical full stop at the end of this statement, life is always a COMMA and human lives can become saner with this basic understanding.
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