Baba's magic !!

Dear All
I have heard it quite a number of times but never cared to entertain any serious thoughts and making a decision to believe it or disbelieve it....!!
In fact, still, I have not joined the creed of devotee of this wonderful saint who left us 90 years back (he died in 1918 - I have read a book on this man quite curiously during the past week), but let me tell you perhaps he made lot of sense to thousands of people like me....& thats why he is reverred even today and believed to touch upon lives of his devotees even now, though he is not physically present.....
Enough of Prelude, I am talking neither about Baba Maha Avtar around whom the story revolved in one of famous recent film of Rajni (famous because it was an utter flop !!) nor about Puttapurthi Sai Baba or Shiva Shankar Baba....
With lot of amusement I am still in a state of disbelief about some one who lived at Maharashtra - who was confined to a small village called Shirdi which is 5 hours of Bus drive from Pune....
How do I get such accurate details....?
This soul was destined to visit him during last week end not out of any pre planning but just out of sheer desparation...I was rushing to Shirdi like some one running towards Rest Room.....ashamed of myself...as I am considering myself dedicated to another Living God Man (Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev) ...who despises the "belief" syndrome and is still mocking at me...within my sub concious mind....!!
Yes....I was in a period of inertness & mental depression for too long and all my spiritual practises got dwindling as it usually happens whenever I am on low...and I was infact ashamed to seek any thing from my Yoga Guru...the latter...so I had infact stopped my usual practise of standing in front of his photo in my Book Shelf for couple of minutes....& just kept avoided him along with the practises that he had blessed upon me....!!
My mental depression was going on and on.... and I dont mind to quote this....I was seriously getting into suicidal thoughts and running away from every thing leaving out every thing that I claim to be mine.... not because that life is painful and cruel BUT because I was too ashamed of myself.....!!
It peaked on last thursday when after wearing my shoes to leave to office, I suddenly closed my eyes and decided to bunk my office on that day because I found the pointlessness in reaching office and battling with time for 10 hours to reach back home only to eat and sleep !!
My people had already left for their schools and I was alone sitting at my hall at 8.30 AM on the said thursday - calling my boss through cell phone without any emotion or remorse....(its all dried up already in two months).
My boss could not really believe his ears when I told him abruptly that I am on leave...He shot back with a "why ?"...I told that I was not in mood and I wanted to be all alone for a while....He paused for couple of seconds and abruptly told me "ok !! see you on monday...." and disconnected....(Friday was a holiday for us)...
I was in tears within myself with his abrupt response as I was so clear that he is annoyed and I am ripping off one of my last sources of inspiration...This gentleman had been counselling me for the past 1 week at office taking time to cheer me up at every possible opportunity - spending time with me upto 10 PM on couple of days.... He had given me a huge lift at management circles projecting me as his replacement and should ofcourse have selfish reasons to counsell me...BUT still he had enough alternatives and choices.... He likes me when I am in full song and he knows my potential & I am sure he is still not regretting about his decision to recognise me with "Top Achiever" rating for last year....
So, I was physically too in tears getting reminded of all these things at 8.30 AM in the morning..
Then, the next thought came to my mind...what to do ??? I set off to Tambaram where one of the live generator lives...my mother who has consciously kept herself cheerful at the age of 65 inspite of the inhuman and bitterest experiences of her life....I started off quite cheerfully even at the thought of this wonderful lady...locking the door of my house...!!

She invites me gleefully when I reached our home at around 11 Am and was surprised how I could be at her place when I was supposed to be working at office.....(she is too proud about my work place & the "luck" that I had had in my life....poor soul !!). Without explaining much, I told that I took a break consciously avoiding details as I felt not to make her unhappy...after all I came here to "receive" her cheerfulness and not to "gift away" my mood to her, right ??

Then she started cheerfully telling all her matters (petty little things...at my mindset at that point of time) and gives me all updates without me asking any thing about HER ("silly") things.....!! she casually mentions on the next day (Good Friday) early morning she is leaving to Shirdi in a package tour along with 40 other people...she is going to a 3 day tour after quite a long time and obviously she was delighted.... Amidst my garbage and inertness, thought I did not hear most of the things that she was rattling about, I some how grasped this particular update and impulsively asked her if I too can join her...

There was more of surprise and disbelief to her when I asked this as I had never joined her in her spiritual tours....and she could not hide the delight to have my company as its a package tour and she was not having any acquaintances in the tour…meaning none of her friends circle was joining her….She immediately rememebered that even she was a last minute entry for this package tour and doubted if there could be a possibility of me joining the tour as this tour organizer normally has good demand…a local guy whom all of us know…I infact told her that I don’t mind taking a ticket in waiting list in the train journeys to and fro PUNE and traveling in unreserved compartment……I was putting it quite casually though I was pleading inside myself wanting for some change of mind more than blessings of Baba…or any other God Man….as I was so clear that my trauma was self inflicted more than a external tragedy….!!
Still with some hope and prayer at her heart, she calls up him over phone and asks very casually and respectfully if there is some vacancy or chance of entertaining me to…. It appears the tour operator (whose name is shankar and has named his agency after Baba’s name…a staunch devotee who works with my brother) got excited and told my mother over phone that just few minutes / hours back, there was a cancellation and the train ticket was booked for M/34…meaning Male with 34 years…. !!
My mother was hysterically laughing over phone and responded him that I am exactly just that….and all the three of us experienced some stillness within ourselves at the coincidence of events….!! They always say it is quite a challenge to enter Shirdi without his permission….. (I am talking about what is normally talked about in his devotees circuit…)
Then I was there at Shirdi tour and reached back at Chennai at 4.30 AM on Monday morning…It was a weird tour where we spent close to 60 hours in traveling to have a dharshan for just 1 minute and the waiting time in queue to have a glimpse of Him….was close to 5 hours…..!!

Still, it pays….I am sorry it works..(I don’t want to utter any materialistic word when I talk about him… as I attribute my turnaround in next 96 hours (mon to Thursday) to this visit…and keep telling myself its not me who changed…..but he has done some thing subtly for me…..!!
If I could have done it myself, it could have happened long back, right ?
Now, Am I coming to say that I have become a Baba devotee now and have dumpted Sadhguru…??
not exactly, I am gleefully smiling with folded hands in front of my super star now meeting his eyes which I could not do for the past two months….

Now did any more tangible miracle happened at Shirdi to me ? …..OR I am trumpeting this silly coincidence & blowing it out of proportion….I should explain a little bit….But not in this posting….but in the next one…as it is already too long…

Gosh…..!! But the time is 4.20 AM and its time for me to make a Brinjal curry for my sweet little daughter for her lunch at school today…. Let me wind up and continue this some time later when I find time….
Krishnaarpanam….as always….

suchoo