Manager in the making - 6 ::: Empathising !!

Hi All
It is quite a great feat even to have started this posting in this particular series..."Manager in the making"....as I was in self destructive mode for the past 8 weeks and was checking my meagre options to get out the mess that I had created..... In particular, this series which was started when I was in my high appeared to be a big comedy for me during this low period and I would say an element of my mental depression is due to sense of suffocation seeing how high things have been and I had been.....!!
Now, here I am posting this with lot more clarity on the need to Empathise with the subordinates than what I used to have before.... I remember I had spoken about the difference of two words - empathy and sympathy - to couple of my team members trying to give the situation in which they should be used...but I now realise it was understood and explained by me at mental plane only... I find the meaining of this powerful word "empathy" with....as usual ... my own experience...
Here I want to register few words about the person to whom I am reporting...He hails from Andra Pradesh. He appears to be a person from a rich rural family & gives an impression that he works only to be active and engaged....Incidentally he is one of the few manager of my company who owns a 9 lacs car while his peers are all quite comfortable with 6 lacs car....!! He speaks Tamil OK but reminding us all that it is not his mother tongue and when he speaks English, he just uses it as a tool to inform what is in its mind....and nothing more....!! In the earlier days, I have wondered that his communication skill is slightly short off to be in his position but gradually reconcilied myself to the reality that we dont have to become shakespere and wordsworth when we handle people with ordinary qualifications AND I also started discovering that this person is able to communicate any thing and every thing powerfully without mincing words (advantages of having too little library in his head).
He is quite stubborn and being quite close to him, though I had not suffered much, I have been watching him very strict at times when the expectations are not met and has a personality of dominance and self confidence which has brought him to his position. He is a master delegator and does not keep any thing with himself except those things which he cannot delegate..I had striken a wonderful and healthy relationship with him since day ONE and needless to say, we started getting more and more closer...he has visited our parent's home twice on my request when we happen to pass through our residence officially.....and had lunch along with us when he visited on both occassions....!! Even at office, we have lunch together and many times when one of us dont bring lunch, we naturally take 50 % of what the other has brought....along with couple of more supervisors....
Now, as usual I am getting too much detailed.....born habits die hard.....!!
He has smelled and guaged me quite well and during my earlier periods of inertness, has handled me quite well but this time, he had every reason to have become rude with me.....!! It is quite unreasonable to have the subordinate just sit idle and not being productive...for such a long period of time....!! He kept his cool and was quite natural during our Lunch sessions and trying to talk to me very casually. On two or three occassions, out of helplessness, he even had a 2 - 3 hours one to one sessions with me with genuine interest and telling me his past experiences and challenges at office front....trying to make things easy for me.... In one particular such session, I remember him helplessly telling me...." you need to know how to come out yourself...or to take support from outside if you want.... we are in a peculiar situation where both of us are sitting with out any clue on what could help you".... After every such sessions with him, I give him some assurances and try to get started on few initiatives on the next day but it was not sufficient to be sustained....
Now, having come out of my depression spell, I feel like emulating him in terms of empathising....!! I am fully aware such gestures of prolonged patience cannot be extended to every person whom we move with.....but I feel we should be capable of doing as a manager at least to those critical people on whom we have lot of faith and trust....!!