Transcendance - 9 ::: Getting out of "miracle" syndrome !!

Dear All
I had made a previous posting (argueably the longest one in this blog & presumably the longest one in the entire blog world !!) on my visit to Shirdi. The purpose of the said blog is to mainly describe vividly the mental state in which I set my journey on....and to painstakingly explain that it was a unique type of visit where a person with unclear mind going to a place "just like that" which is longed by many to reach...!!
Now its time to get into a microscopic view of the same visit & why this piece is being justified to be posted in "transcendance" series..... Well, I assure you that there wont be any repetition of any thing that is contained in the earlier posting....
Well, as it was a 24 hours travel in train during the onward journey to Pune, I was reading the biography on this Saint (Sai Baba) and was going through with some genuine curiousity the various instances in which he had performed few miracles, by our standards. The biggest and most striking difference in the series of his miracles with that of his successor (puttapurthi) is that this person did not demonstrate any miraculous powers for the purpose of entertainment OR to make his devotees believe him.
When his devotees pestered him with questions on how what ever he utters as his blessings happen just exactly....he has the self confidence and humility to respond to them "I am able to see things clearly what is going to happen in future...& I am just saying it only when I see the positive things clearly. it is not the other way around." Please read the above line carefully, it needs lot of clarity of mind to be so honest in this world where people own up fame even when they do not deserve it....
It appears this man lived too simply & begged for his food till the end of his life and was wearing a torn rag back as his dress for most part of his life...and the money / funds that poured in front of him got disposed off immediately to the people of shirdi.....!! The fire that is said to be lit with his yogic power (he just struck the ground to produce fire which he told "will live as long the world with be there....& asked his people to keep fuelling it.....) is there for us even today and the burnt wood OR the ash is considered to be having medicinal powers.....
Having loaded too much into my head, I wish I had formed some clear prayer to utter in front of this man's idol / statue when THE moment arrives, but unfortunately, I could not really process the inputs and make out a power packed statement till the time I joined the long loooooong queue....
It was heavy sun above and there were points of time when we were exposed to sun during the queue movement and we joined the queue only by 10.30 Am or so....I had not taken any breakfast consciously and was just standing without uttering any word and kept my eyes closed as much as possible...Lucky that me and my mother got seperated in the mad rush and it gave me much needed privacy & I kept on uttering his name within my mouth for the next 3 - 4 hours....for the substantial part of the time.... which became close to 4 hours....
There was dialogues and giggles all around me...people were jostling and trying to outsmart each other, some of them sitting in the benches available in every possible opportunity, many of them shouting and argueing when some one tried to overtake them....I was there standing without any connection with the external world, just mechanically moved whenever a space is created for me by the man in front of me....When I opened my eyes then and there and when I spotted few other devotees chanting his hymns or appearing prayerful, I had fresh stream of tears in my eyes and got into exactly the same feeling I used to have in my reverred yoga classes.... Perhaps I was appreciating the connection between types of yogas in a deeper sense....
I did not eat any thing till 4.30 PM that day, but still when I reached the main shrine by around 3.30, there was no hunger / thirst .. & did not have the urge to urinate even....for I had not taken a sip of water since morning..... It was as if I had transcended my physical limitations completely and when I stood in front of his marble statue, I was there without much of memory about myself.....Of course the body was tired and exhausted but it was not heavy and painful.....
I just met his eyes and it was a huge pause of time without any demands / prayers in any sense but I remember in the last few seconds, I nodded him looking him intensily as if I meant "take care boss....I dont want to tell you any thing".... I just walked away completely relieved from the main shrine.
It is really nice that he did not come in my dream that night or prior night OR did not speak to me in a husky voice that I alone could have hear him....OR the statue did not nod at me / wink at me.....!!
Since Monday, at office, the way things are moving forward as if it is just getting naturally started after a week end (2 months long), and the people around me realising and adapting themselves to see me in another extreme personality which they are familiar with already, I think this is enough of miracle that needs to happen for me.
The greatest miracle that has happened to me (though it may be such a silling thing for any one else) is that I am able to make a posting in my favourite blog....without any trace of the mental turmoil that I went through.....!!
Am I making mountain out of mole hill ??? In this world of extra ordinarily brilliant and result oriented people, am I getting stuck up with some thing too simple and too trivial which is being blown out of proportion.....? Am I underestimating me and trying to take too simple goals and getting into self deception mode ?? The answers to these questions could be a Big Yes & No....It could even be a still silence....

suchoo