Imposed Silence @ Kedar (Walk towards the Peak - 9)

While I was trying to express my lack of urge to speak on my first day at Badri, now I would like to write about my silence for the next three days - forcefully imposed on me after that mind blowing lecture on the subsequent day morning at Badri...

A lecture of Sadhguru was played in the morning in a hall arranged for this purpose at Badri where he spoke about few extra ordinay things about spirituality with special reference to Kedarnath.....!! It wont be too irrelevant to write down the exact statements, but honestly I feel now as if I dont remember many of the things spoken by him.....though I can vividly recall how those words exploded on me....He spoke the speciality about Kedarnath and towards the end of the lecture, he suggested it would be better to remain silent till the time we reach this holy place and as long as we are there.....!! (which I was doing al ready!!)

I had my second innings of hot tears flowing while he was lecturing and realised that it was a great opportunity for me to have joined this tour.....!! I reached back to the room and pulled my diary from the suitcase and wrote down with shivering hands...that I am not going to speak a word from that moment till we reach Kedar (Time was 11.50 AM when I wrote this sitting in my cot with tears in my eyes)......I was not aware that my silence is going to last for 3 full days as our buses got held up on the way due to a landslide...and we were staying in our hotel - enroute - for close to 36 hours.....I did not mind it and remained absolutely silent gesturing to people IF it became unavoidable....

At Kedar, we were adviced to start trekking by around 8.30 AM from the base (which is called as Gowri Kund) and it is very foolish on my part to start walking with just 200 Rs in my pocket....not picking up some more money just in case I needed to hire a horse on the way.....I was walking all alone with the chanting in the mouth (that was adviced by Him......) and there was drizzling thrice during the long 14 kilometre trek....Wearing the rain coat, I was steadily walking towards the Holy Shrine in a steady climbing mountain....though some caution was needed to get away from the horses that was quite a huge traffic....I managed quite well in this first trekking reaching up by around 2.30 PM - late by 1 & half hours ......than the standard time...

After reaching up and getting into a hotel with primitive condition, I started crying partly aloud sitting in my cot...partly due to leg pain and balance due my mental state....After gathering some balance, I walked towards the place where hot hot bondas were served to us with tea....with the usual reverence for the cooking crew, it was quite rare in my experience to eat some thing quite mechanically not really enjoying it too much....!! I asked some one standing there by gestures on the direction to temple.....and was guided by him clearly....

I went to the temple and the first thing that struck me when I reached close to the temple was the size of it....it was too small and deceptively simple to what had been spoken about it by Sadhguru....Not much crowd and I was able to walk to the main shrine within couple of minutes....then started the peak cry......!! I was holding my hands in reverence and the whole rib cage seemed to have become spongy with my drooping shoulders...and I was crying my heart out ...... with my eyes closed.....FOR NO REASON......

Reaching closer to the Lingam, I was still crying, now with decibel level slightly higher without minding the eyes of the head man there...who did not mind me staying there for few seconds extra than others...I could hear an old lady whispering to her husband (seemingly from some rural area) pointing at me and telling him that I am crying (all in Hindi....I was hearing her but was not paying attention to them).....I could see the lady's voice started breaking as she kept telling about me to her hubby and she too started crying.....When I turned back towards the door, a temple guy was literally embracing me asking me to put some money in hundi with my prayer...(he was telling me ..."sab teek ho jayegaa baisaab....chintaa math karnaa!!"...while I obeyed him, I wanted to cry back "sab badiyaaah..hai...baisaab.....!!"....)

when I was out of the shrine, I felt ok.....and really felt the lightness of the body.....Looks like my imposed silence helped me to get a wonderful experience.....Crying is quite a common thing for me but never in front of a deity....!!

I am eager to visit Kedar once again....preferably all alone...without even the comfort of being in a group.....!! Its worth it...I mean, a visit from chennai to North just to visit this temple...and returning back home without trying to dilute the experience with numerous other visits.....!! I am sure to make it....rather, make it available for me once again......!!

suchoo