My mental Block....on learning !!

Dear Gowri

Perhaps you guessed it already - with the too many glimpses on my personality showed in front of you....!!

In terms of imagination of a non existing problem, pro-activeness and getting geared up to face an eventuality, using the right words and right approach to take upon the eventuality & to a great extend in engaging the team members, I have a fairly good self image about me.... I had joined in this team during Feb which is considered to be a very stable process.....and there could not be much scope for me to enhance things further to this....

So much of process improvements have been enabled (note - not done by myself - all that I do is to ask simple question to people around...and connect two statements made by them....which seemingly they have never done before...its at times funny but it worked for me, repeatedly...) and there is a long list of things that is yet to be done in addition to improving the metrics in many aspects...so much have been made possible in the past 8 months....Few team members' fortunes have been turnaround by enhancing their profile, some of them seeing lot of self improvements with my constant triggering....all this have been well recognised by the management too.....about which I dont have any doubts.....!! I have a good recognition at Market (Hungary) too which is considered an important yardstick in our industry in addition to creating sufficient visibility at our Management circles too with few of my initiatives.....!!

Now comes the real problem or peril....perhaps I will be the only person in a supervisory position in entire office who is totally ignorant about doing any thing independently....sitting in front of our accounting package...It may appear funny but its truth that in the first 6 months, I was busy revamping the organisation structure and ensuring engagement level of various people, lavishly praising and empowering people....which were making magic with the team....With my eyes set on reaching the next level (where the "little things" like searching for the information myself need not become so important), I even consider skipping the learning of elementary things....which is really slightly odd when there comes a discussion on details....!!

Perhaps, I had tried quite a number of times to learn few basics but due to inconsistency and lack of persevance I could not really get a good confidence levels...In fact, the self imposed goal on learnings are really not so crucial but I thought them to pep up my confidence level....!! In fact, even now, it is not too late, I can get hands on into some playing around for a committed time on day to day basis...to get out of this horrible situation - which I am afraid is one of the reason for my mental depressions....and needless imaginations....!! it is quite funny how after touching so much of milestones, I could afford to be so fragile but it is a fact which I cannot deny....

I only wish that with today's transcendance which happened quite by luck, I learn things in bite size chuncks so that over a period of time I develop a taste for "learning" new things....which are practically useful...!! What to do, some people around us measure us in three dimension...and dont give a discount factor for some enormous strengths that we possess !! Let me measure up to every one around....to some basic level at least.....!!

suchoo