Volunteering

Hi

Basically sort of lazy guy and having an added advantage of not knowing too many aspects of practical life, it was quite a huge thing for me to be a volunteer at Isha for a brief period....It all started in 2004 when I joined Ford...I started attending all the 13 days class at Mambalam (which happens once in 4 months)...I have attended practically all classes until this March....around 10 classes excluding one session that happened during my sweden stay......

The indulgence in Green Hands was a huge part of experience and for close to 4 months I enjoyed every moment of our Awareness Camp in various schools and it was wonderful to see that such a social project was not very different from the class volunteering......I still remember lot of tender moments and my own frequency levels while I was in action.
In one particular school - the principal Lady (Gurunanak Hr Secondary school, velachery) observed me waiting to meet her outside her room...after she walked to her room supervising few people she sent for me and I went inside....I told in 3 minutes about our project and wanted to have some time to talk in their assembly...she was watching me quite intently and I could see that she had a very calm and powerful eyes...perhaps she is into some transcendal meditation....after I finished off my crisp introduction, she bluntly told me before any thing else that I carry very positive vibration around me...I literally blushed in front not because I felt underserved for this comment because I COULD FEEL IT MYSELF !!....she was very co-operative for the project too)

During those 13 days, I reach a different frequency and there were many days I cannot sleep more than 2 or 3 hours considering that I had to leave very early for the morning class and sleep would not come before 12 AM midnight as I will be fully charged....Office just passes off effortlessly on those days and I think that whole eternity gets adjusted itself to ensure that I dont take a break in between those 13 days...in Particular, on the Games day and on initiation, I used to be in full flow without any other thoughts on any other aspects of life.....!!

I still remember the March 2007 class which was the last 13 day program - on the initiation day I was crying my heart out...(perhaps I knew that it was my last class !!) It was the last class at chennai in the old format and the new format was without Shoonya meditation....which was like a rude shock for me... Later when I did the class in May, I did enjoy the sunday which was very different experience BUT still it did not have a seperate initation hall arrangement....and some how I never felt like going to the two subsequent classes at Mambalam until now....I just absconded from the class....

I dont want to reason out my sudden change....neither I want to justify my absence these days.....The phone call kept coming for the august class and during october, there was just a courtesy call which was not followed up....there are enough people to take care of the class !!

I some how feel that I have seen the depth of the volunteering within myself and I am bit scared that I could become full of action and bit dry and mechanical if I go on and on in this....Further, it is quite costly in terms of time and allocation of substantial time....I know there are lot of people who go deeper and deeper and their whole personality change over a period of time with volunteering but I am quite contented with getting into a molten stage as an outcome of my volunteering....and would prefer to retain my "expression".....It will be ofcourse quite nice to regulate it but definitely I dont want to throw it away completely....

Who knows, I may reach a stage when I get fed up with my volatile moods and decide to throw away my "expressions" ...then perhaps I have no shame in going back to Isha as a volunteer....Till the time I get ripened to this state, the "moments of bliss" and "transcendance" will keep me enough fit ..... I am sure.....

suchoo