Silence by Choice (Walk towards the peak - 8)

Hi All

It is time to record few subtle moments that I enjoyed during the Dhyana Yatra Trip during Oct 2007.....I am in a way relieved as I had already penned down the fundamentals and the non-essentials (I really mean it !!) before touching this area.....as I can get down to the business in this posting & also the next one which is dedicated on Kedarmath...

One wonderful aspect of the tour was the lectures of Sadhguru played with a help of a projector and a Laptop....at least on 3 / 4 occasions during the trip... I never had any idea that his physical absence could be substituted so wonderfully with such powerful lectures videographed during the earlier Visits (in fact he spoke to us for couple of minutes after one of the lectures - over phone - from US....I think it was at Hrishikesh when his voice was heard by all of us wishing us all a safe and wonderful journey!!)...as I never had the curiosity to understand things before things get unveiled at Isha.....be it their yoga classes OR during my volunteering experiences...

The first lecture was played at Hrishikesh at early morning before getting started towards the hills.....He spoke few things that I clearly understood but could not appreciate too much at that point of time....He was telling the importance of being in the space of the majestic Himalalyas & how it can melt down a person & make him feel little....I was so absorbed with that wonderful lecture....which was so deep and abstract in few places and there was a second part of the lecture giving us some basic instructions on taking care of ourselves.....(He was specifically addressing the US people like this....."No helicopters will come for our rescue...& it is important that our US meditators clearly understand that we dont have any external emergency support mechanism except our own Doctors Crew in the tour.....")

I absorbed his every word and his sweet demeanour as usual.....but did not expect myself to be in full tears till the time we reached Badrinath....!!

I was in a bus which contained Salem and Pondy People and just one in the bus known to me already before this tour...The whole group had been coming from Chennai together and were enjoying themselves, playing and few of them busy in shooting snaps outside windows...

I did not have the urge to speak to any one and was cuddling in the last corner seat (so that no one will come to challenge me or my seat !!) just looking up the huge mountains and measuring it steadily from the bottom of the crust....where I could see the River Alakananda flowing bit greenish..silently....The scenic beauty did some thing more than visual taste....!! I got into a very fluid state....wiping my tears which was continuous and found it very difficult not to get into a huge cry annoying every one around.....

I really felt the meaning of Sadhguru's lectures in the deepest possible manner.....which infact was clearly a post mortem analysis after the tears started...I was wondering about the stillness and depth of my perception for a while and it took me at least few hours to start realising the connection of what He spoke and my mental state....I was so sharp even to watch and entertain a small sense of pride of being able to be "fit" in the terms required by his prescription.....!!

I had not prepared my body sufficiently for the tour...inspite of warning that we need to walk for atleast 6 to 8 KM for atleast 2 months....I always had this mental block on physical exercises and remember walking just 2 /3 days in total....promising myself to get started on the next day....During the trekking, I suffered the pain like hell because of this physical shape of mine....but thats later....!!

Here, in the bus, I was silently crying trying to be as soundless as possible....feel like crying louder when few in the bus were busy to take snaps crawling themselves outside the windows....I was sure some of them would have noticed me but I really did not mind.....!! The mountains, the high speed river flowing underneath, the healthy and rugged cattle which obstrused the way here and there..., the innocence in the boy who stood along with his cattle looking at the speeding buses, the formations & reformations of the clouds....there was nothing else to see but it was simply too much for me....!!

Honestly, I would not have felt bad even if the tour had ended after that bus journey which shook me to my spine....!! It was so sensible to remain so senseless.....it was so wonderful to just helplessly watch and cry at the hugeness of the mountains....I had been to Tirupathy, Ooty, Kodai and climbing up the hill is not some thing new to me.....Definitely the great moments at the bus is due to the combination of the wonderful words spoken before the bus journey, my receptivity levels towards the lecture, my identification with the group that travelled, the nice co-travellers who were magnanimous enough not to disturb me....more than Himalayas....

But still, it is so nice that all of them happened as a wondeful cocktail....and here I was enjoying myself.....The deep impact lasted even after we reached the Hotel at Badrinath some time in the evening......!! I was there walking all alone in a busy street leading towards the Badrinath temple....and reached the room by 7 PM in the night only to find my room mate (every where, we shared the room...some time it was 4 people, some time it was 2 /3 people...depending on the room size)....had not reached back.....

I had no sense of complaining and was waiting in the chill air outside the room without sufficient warm clothing upon me.....I was sitting in the floor near the door mat waiting for the room mate who had the keys with him....!!

I did not mind to wait for him.....I needed the aloofness in the chill air outside much more than courteous talks inside the warm room.....For that matter, I could have walked to some other room and had stayed inside with them until our room opened up....I had no urge to do it.....

suchoo